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No more Lazy Ass Husband Living Alone

So the Lazy Ass Husband Living Alone is no more. Now just a Lazy Ass Living Alone. It was not an easy conclusion to reach, but in the end the adult life and it's decisions had to prevail.

The decision was a mutual one. We had both been having the same thoughts. We have changed. We are moving in different directions with our lives, and it had become more natural to be apart than together. It's not something that is easy to admit to oneself, but better to reach the conclusion while still friends instead of delaying it until pulling in each direction would lead to unhappiness, fighting and resentment.

I was shown a quote yesterday that, while being a very overused cliche, still holds a lot of truth for how I feel.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened"

Well, crying because it is over is inevitable. Sorrow is a part of any split. When coming to the realisation that the one who has more or less defined your life for the last 8+ years is no longer the same integrated part of it, there will be pain. Trying to say something else would just be lying to oneself, and I am not going to do that. Pain is not fun, but it's a necessary part of moving life foward. But the most important part of this cliche are the last words.

I want to thank my wife for letting me grow, develop, showing me who I can be and for being a huge part in making me who I am today. I will keep all those memories and they will always be cherished. I am smiling because it happened. I wouldn't even want to think about how life would have been without it.

Thank you.

Luckily it is not goodbye. Important people should not be removed from ones life if it can be avoided. And good friends is something you can never have too many of.

Yep, it appears to be screwed

Been going over every option I can think of, and it appears that Christmas vacation this year is pretty much screwed. Not exactly something that I'm getting in a cheerful mood thinking about, but not something I can do anything about either. And I wouldn't have changed the priorities leading to it knowing the outcome.

Looks like it's just something I'm going to have to deal with, that I'll be working over the Christmas holidays, in Ljusdal. Not looking forward to it, but can't have everything the way I want it either.

Putting on my thinking cap to see if there's any way to get the Christmas plans back on track.

but we'll see. Right now, it looks like Swedish Christmas unless I get a lottery prize. Which would mean I'd have to play the lottery. Which I don't do :P

Peace out.

Christmas Wishlist Time

Yeah, it's time for the Christmas wishlist. Keeping up with tradition, I will of course fill my list with attainable and realistic requests.

• $175,000 in unmarked and non-sequential serial number bills, delivered at 3 am on Christmas morning outside the train station in Ljusdal. (I'll never give up on this one. NEVER! One day it will happen. Will have to change the drop-off point though.)
• New computer.
• Return flight Stockholm <-> Rapid City for mid December to mid January.
• Quicker processing time at USCIS.
• Greencard for USA, executive position in a Fortune 500 company and a huge bonus if I get fired for doing a shitty job (any bonus in excess of $75,000,000 can be tolerated)
• A renovated apartment (this one is in need of some work soon)
• A Dogo Argentino (should also include lifting the breed bans in Norway so it can come on visits)
• Something.

And that's yet another event where nobody can say I didn't have any requests.

Who knows, this year I might even put on a Santa suit.

 

Then again, probably not.

Peace out.

My "Pick Yourself Up" list

I've been thinking about doing this for a little while, but never actually got around to put my thoughts down in black and white. Well, until now that is.

As everyone else, I have moments when I feel down, and feel that the world is conspiring against me to make me unhappy. It's a normal thing to happen once in a while for everyone. When it happens to me, I have made a mental list that I go through. It's not a "magic cure" against dark thoughts, but you'd be surprised how much such a list can help to at least pick you up a little bit.

So, today I'm going to post my list. Some of you reading this will be included in these thoughts. No specific people ,except some very few exceptions, are mentioned, but yes, some of you are definitely in there without names being put in to it. Anyway, here is my "pick yourself up and get on with it" list:


I have a great wife. Yes, I am married to a lovely woman who never stops surprising me when it comes to self confidence, strength, determination, development and simply being amazing. I'm lucky she chose this nerdy, balding guy as a partner. It's something I'm extremely thankful for, and not a single day goes by where I don't think about just how lucky I am to have her.


I have a wonderful family. I know I don't see them enough, but I have two lovely nieces, I have a great sister and I have parents who, despite me probably not appreciating it enough at the time, gave me everything I needed growing up. What more coculd you really want? Well, not taking in to account what you wanted at the time but have realized you didn't need now in hindsight :)


I have good friends. Even though not being the most social person, there are some close friends and other "normal friends" who are very fun to hang out with. Some of them have "sailed past", which happens, others are still here. Regardless, I'll be forever greatful that they've been, and are, a part of my life.


I've had a life full of experiences. Sure, I've messed up a lot of things, and hurt people. But I've also made people happy and done a lot of things right. In sum, all the experiences have made me who I am today. And I know I will have other experiences, both good and bad, which will add to who I become in the future.


I have regrets. I have things I wish I could undo. But I also have the realization that what has happened is in the past. I cannot change what has been done, but I can use the knowledge gained to make sure it does not happen again. That is something that is up to me, something I can control.


I have the control to develop myself. Sure, I can blame everyone else for setbacks if I want to, but that's not going to get me anywhere. If I feel something is trying to hinder my will to develop, it is up to me to get around that obstacle and fight on.


I am lucky. My life is much better than what it is for a lot of other people. I have a job. I have friends. I have a place to live. Things could be a lot worse than they are, and I am far from being among the unlucky people on this planet.


Taking this in to account, I should be happy. I might not be where I want to end up with my life, but it's really not that bad at this point. And it's going to get better. All that is needed is that I work to get what I want.


I can't blame anyone else for things I want to change. If I want change, I need to work for it. I'm in charge of what happens in my life.


This isn't a complete list. I'm not in a state mind right now where I need to go through it, so I'm sure there are some things I have left out. But the most important bits are there.

Why am I posting this? I don't really have any specific reason. I just wanted to share some thoughts.

That was it for this time. Peace out.

Just a quick rambling update

So, what's been going on since last time? Not too much really.

Getting a bit more social, which is a good thing. Been having quite a bit of fun, meeting new people and learning some new stuff about "old people". The nerdyness is going downhill a bit, even though it's still there to a certain degree. I think it always will be. I am who I am.

Had to take Lilo to the vet to have her eye fixed. That was a bad thing. Not the part of getting her eye fixed, that was of course good. The bad thing about it is that it seems to have screwed me over royally on any Christmas plans. First of all, after having paid the vet my travel funds are more or less gone. Second, if I find a way to replenish them, this is a blip on the card that means I don't know if she'll be cleared to travel. That would mean another huge chunk of cash is needed to have her transported as soon as possible when I'd get home after Christmas vacation.

I know she's getting old, and with each passing month she's acting more and more like an elder cat. I also know that Linda misses her a lot, so I really want to get her shipped to where she belongs as soon as possible. I realise that these are probably considered minor issues in the big picture of things, but it's enough to weigh on my mind.

The L-1 application process is also taking it's sweet time. It sped up considerably after I stopped accepting some of the offers for help I got and just called around a bit myself instead. But now that everything that needs to be done locally is done, it's time to wait for government institutions. And that takes time. A long time from the looks of things. But they say paitience is a virtue, so I guess I should just try to learn how it works.

My brain is spinning all over the place with stuff going on, and it's time for a vacation relatively soon. I really hope I can get things sorted so that vacation can be spent looking at the Black Hills sunrise/sunset with no other sounds around than the nature and company.

I'll finish off this whining post on a nice note. A little piece of music from Mountain Man, my favorite singers these days when it comes to relaxing music. You can just close your eyes, listen and drift off. A really nice feeling.

That was it. Peace out.

Energy Levels Depleting

For the last couple of weeks my energy levels have been horrible. It feels like all motivation for getting up in the morning has ran away to somewhere else, and it forgot to tell me where it went. Quite simply I'm drained.

Now, I've never been the most energetic and enthusiastic person on the planet, but this is starting to get ridiculous. And I can't really put my finger on what's causing it. Probably just a build-up of several things that is starting to drain on my energy. Unable to sleep, dreaming when I do get to sleep, causing the sleep I do get to be restless and so on. Oh well, it'll pass I guess.

Still waiting for USCIS to move, which can take it's time of course. Bureaucracy at it's finest. Of course, feeling like I'm going to be unable to get any development at all while waiting doesn't help on the energy levels. At the moment it feels like I'm stuck in a huge rut, and at the moment there's no way out. This does not help on my level of motivation.

No motivation does not mean that I'm lazy though. I'm still working my ass off. This stupid thing called work ethic means I do what I can regardless, and I do it as good as I can.

In other news:

I have ordered a cat crate and have finished first health inspection. Not failed any health exams on the black devil yet, so hopefully no troubles will arise. Think that would be my nightmare scenario right now.

Old Barky is still alive! It was quiet for a very long time, but suddenly he was back behind the fence barking and sniffing. That made me happy :)

I've decided to step out my shell. Yes, the Lazy Ass Husband is going to enjoy the company of other people and be a bit less bitter old man. Guess it was time to change that habit a bit.

And I think that was it for now. Or wait....



A random YouTube video, just for the heck of it.

Now, that was all for this time.

Peace out.